


Falling. Hurting. Healing

by Mindlessjoker



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Heavy Angst, but there is a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 08:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16850338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mindlessjoker/pseuds/Mindlessjoker
Summary: People tell stories about their true love but never about their greatest love. It's a small angst piece between Kara and Lena. I don't what happened





	Falling. Hurting. Healing

**Author's Note:**

> It has been a while since I last wrote. So, I hope you guys will like this angsty come back??

People will tell you stories about their true love, but no one will mention their greatest desire. Naturally, because it is also their greatest heartbreak. They're the greatest scar because some love is not worth fighting for.

Lena knows so because she met Kara when she just recently took a fall. Lena was broken, but Kara didn't see her that way, and because of that, Lena forgot to see herself, too. She's only happy whenever she's with her.

**_Flashback….._ **

Lena is currently meeting with Kara, and she told Lena to meet her at the cafe where they first met. Kara is a great friend and a great support system, especially, now that Lena needs it the most. She's always been there for Lena, whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on.

As soon as Lena entered the cafe, she spotted Kara sitting by the windows with her laptop open. Her hair is always in a high ponytail or a bun because apparently, she cannot tame it. She tries to tame it sometimes, but she still cannot win. Lena often wonders why Kara stumbled in her life.

_What did I do to deserve such goodness?_

Lena didn’t know she has been standing there for long when another customer excused her way in. Lena shook her head to get out of her trance and walked towards their table.

When Kara saw Lena approaching, her smile grew softer and full. “Hey,” she greeted.

“Have you been waiting in here long?” Lena asked as she settled on the seat in front of her.

“Not long,” Kara shook her head, and from that, she went on to ask Lena about her day. She is good like that, always looking out for Lena. She always knows when to cheer Lena up. Then Lena went on to ask about Kara's day. She said that she’s currently working on a speech. Lena asked her if Kara can read it to her.

“Alright, here it goes,” she said and smiled at Lena. “After years of knowing you. I have come to realize that life must go on and that I should take risks even if I’m scared to be hurt,” she continued on while looking at Lena. Her eyes were shining with every word she is saying.

“The risk that I am willing to take is the risk of falling for you,” she told Lena as she closed her laptop and reached for Lena's clasped hands. “I am willing to take that chance with you. You’re worth it, and I know that you are still going through so much, I am willing to be there with you every step of the way. To be there by your side.”

Lena asked her if she knows what she is fighting for, what she is going to enter. She looked at Lena dead in the eye and said yes. That was the moment that Lena knows she is the one thing she needs to be ok again.

_**End of flashback……** _

Lena's greatest love is always so courageous. She is still ready to dive head first. Lena wishes she were like that, she hopes she was more like Kara, but sadly, she was not.

_**Flashback……** _

Lena came home tipsy, and she knows that she is still aware of her surroundings. Kara was waiting for her, she looked worried, and yet Lena did not care. Kara held her by her shoulders and guided her toward the couch.

At some point when Kara left Lena to get some water, Lena felt brave because she has the power of the alcohol. At that moment, she can conquer all.

“What happened to you? Why are you so drunk?” Kara asked.

“I saw him again,” Lena answered. “With another girl and they looked thrilled.”

“Aren’t you happy?” Kara asked knowing that Lena is drunk. Kara was always so curious. Always asking questions.

“Not when I’m not with him. Because of you, you make me forget. You are great that way,” Lena answered because she felt brave for the wrong reasons. Lena was brave to be a coward. A coward who cannot fight her own heartbreak.

Lena knew Kara cried that night, she heard the sniffles but the alcohol made her numb so, she just slept it off.

  
***-*-*-***

  
Lena woke up and reached for Kara, but she only felt cold pillows. Kara probably left, no one lasts with Lena anyways. But when she walked towards the kitchen, she smelt food, and she saw Kara there cooking while wearing the apron she bought Kara on her birthday.

“Good Morning,” Kara greeted her. Happy and oh, so warm. Kara kissed Lena and served her that morning.

“Did you have fun with the girls last night?” Kara asked.

“Yeah, but it was tiring. I almost forgot how to go out with them,”

“I’m glad you did. That you’re finally reaching out to your old friends again,” She said, softly as she caressed Lena's knuckles with her thumb. Then at that moment, Lena forgot the reason why she got drunk in the first place.

They ate breakfast like they always do. Even if Lena felt guilty and pretended that she doesn’t remember anything from the other night.

Though, it did not stop there. She kept seeing the man that broke her heart, and she would come home drunk with a meaner thing to say, than last night. And she would wake up every day with Kara taking good care of her. Lena would always forget the reason why she got drunk. Lena would never remember that she's broken.

But Lena doesn’t think Kara forgot because, at times when Lena wakes up earlier than she used to, Lena would reach out to Kara, but she is not there. Instead, Lena would feel the wetness from Kara's pillows, and Lena knew that she is breaking Kara while she tries to fix herself.

Then one night, Lena came home earlier to surprise Kara. But instead of her sitting on her favourite chair, Lena saw a suitcase beside it. Then she heard footsteps.

“Oh,” Kara said as she stopped walking. “I didn’t know that you’ll be home early,”

“Where are you going?” Lena asked, suddenly anxious. She felt like the world is closing in on her.

“I can't do this anymore,” Kara said as she shook her head.

“Can't do what?” Lena was afraid to speak up because she knows that her voice will crack.

“You still love him, right?” Kara asked.

Lena shook her head because it's true. She doesn't love her ex anymore. “I’ve given my heart to you. Why are you asking me this?”

Kara looks frustrated. “No!” She said, “You still do. Whenever you come home drunk, you always mention his goddamn name!” She screams. That's when Lena saw that Kara finally let's go in front of her. That Kara finally showed the woman Lena made her be.

“The part that I don't get is that you would smile at me! Telling me that I'm great! That I'm some goodness sent by the angels above,” Kara's face is turning red. From anger? From frustration? Or the blood from her broken heart? Lena doesn't know.

“But I'm here! Am I not?” Lena screamed back because of no matter how much she loves Kara. How much Lena knows, she's guilty. She still tries to protect herself.

“I'm here! With you and I’m happy with you! Maybe you’re the one who is not seeing that!” Lena will blame Kara because Lena doesn't know what she'll do if she will carry this burden on her own. That she's the reason why she cut this relationship, why she broke her. Mainly, she won't get to live if she knows that she broke Kara.

“That's the thing. You’re only happy when I'm with you, and the problem is that I saw that! That's why I prioritized you! I made sure that I was there whenever you needed me that I forgot to look out for me too. I no longer know how to be happy whenever I'm not with you,” Kara whispered, and it was deafening. Lena would have preferred if Kara was yelling because then Lena won't be hearing her own thoughts. Lena won't be hearing the sound of their hearts breaking.

“I won't take this matter into my hands,” Kara said as she looked at Lena with those blue eyes. Her hands were shaking as if she just came out of a war she thought she was not going to win. “I can't fix you,” Kara continued.

“But I never asked you to,” Lena argued back because it was true. Kara knew Lena was still broken, Kara knew that Lena was still dangerous.

“That's true, you didn’t. But you allowed me in. Maybe, it was my fault for pushing and fighting for whatever this is, and I'm sorry,” Kara was desperately clutching her coat as if it was her shield.

“Don't apologize. Please,” Lena begged, and Kara caught her before she falls and hit the floor. They hugged, and it felt like even time has disappeared. Kara kept whispering into Lena's ear, but Lena's thoughts were too loud. Then silence as Kara speaks of promises of them being friends again. Kara then let Lena go, and the sound of the door closing sounded like a crash. Lena mourned until there were no more tears left to cry.  
  
Even after a week of grieving, it seems that Lena still cannot function. Though she is able to stand and brush her teeth now whenever she sees herself in the mirror her hands will start to shake. Remembering the wet pillows, she touched. Recalling the early mornings, she was left alone. It was all her fault why they’re both broken now. She broke Kara's soul, her once so lively spirit had been diminished. What a fool Lena to think it's Kara that she needs, for her to be able to heal from hurt.  
*-*-*-*  
It should be a law to not give your broken heart to someone else for they may hurt themselves in the process of holding on to it. That's why Lena will never forgive herself for being the criminal against the law of love.

After a year of healing, or two, Kara reached out to her again. Kara asked Lena to meet at the coffee shop where they first met. Lena agreed because she needs to know if Kara is ok. She wants to know that Kara is not doing what Lena did to her because Kara is with someone else now. So she'd heard.

So, when Lena entered the coffee shop. She sees Kara sitting at a different spot this time. With a paper and a pen this time. Lena approached her, and once Kara looked up, Lena swears there were tears in her eyes. Kara smiled at her softly. Her eyes shine differently now, her hair is cascading down her shoulders. Kara looked different but still the same.

“How are you?” They both said but instead of laughing it off as Lena did. Kara just looked at her and asked again.

“How are you?” She asked.

“I’m happy for you,” Lena answered. “I heard that you’re dating that girl who lives across the street of your building.”

“Is that all?” Kara asked again.

Lena shook her head “I'm sorry for what I did.”

Kara sighed and smiled at Lena. “I told you that I have forgiven you. Oh, Lena," The way Kara said her name sounds different, but Lena is glad that it does not sound resent. "You have to forgive yourself for what you did to me because it's what you need the most,” Kara said, and Lena smiled at her. Lena looked at Kara long, and she sees the person she has to let go. Lena also has to move on.

Kara's happy, and maybe Lena will be too.

**_End of flashback._ **

“Maybe if I didn't let her go, we both would not get what we want,” Lena said.

“So, what happened to her?” Asked the person sitting beside Lena. She's a new friend she met while she was learning to find herself again. So, Nia didn't know.

Lena looked at the table in the front and found Kara. “She got married to her true love,” Lena said.

“How about you? How are you?”

“Waiting for mine,” Lena said and laughed because truthfully she is. The process of healing was laborious, but Kara was there to help her again. She learned to be happy on her own. Lena learned to know who she is yet.

She's happy.

“Excuse me, I'll just get some fresh air,” Lena said because it was getting stuffy inside the venue.

So, as soon as she opened the door. It felt like it was great imagery to hear it close behind her. That the chapter of her life with Kara is finally over. Lena finally gets to close the story about the greatest love and the greatest heartbreak.

She took a deep breath in and sighed, and some girl bumped into her.

“Oh, I'm sorry,” the tall girl with brown hair said. “Do you know where this building is?” She asks.

Lena pointed at the building across, and the girl laughed awkwardly. There was a weird feeling in the air. It felt like a promise or an open door for something real. But before she can even dwell on it. Lena got called inside to give a speech for her best friend.

Of course, Lena will give a speech about how much of a great person Kara is, but Lena will never tell them that Kara was also her greatest love.


End file.
